Several items rattling around in my head

I received another submission of funny car pics yesterday. This sticker was on the back of a Nissan Altima in the Derby Street neighborhood Sunday morning.

I know, you thought it couldn't get any klassier, but check out the seat covers.

Ed Hardy baby! What does this say about you? My guess is that you're a cross between Jon Gosselin and the Situation? Only two guys I can think of who wear Ed Hardy. I can picture both driving a car like this, too. Twinning!

Parking and more parking

My wife takes the commuter rail to Boston every day. She came home with this notice yesterday:

Well that's quite a jump!

Apparently the current 1$ fine for not paying when you leave your car in the morning isn't good enough, so the company that runs the parking lot at Salem Station has decided to increase it by 2,100% That's quite a jump! They are probably right. I can't count the number of times I've been in to her car on the weekend and seen as many as three or four of the little "you forgot to pay" envelopes. Rest assured, at $21 a pop that will no longer be happening, mark my words.

What really scares me about this change, beyond her tendency to forget the number of the space she parked in, is what the city will use this to justify. Back in 2008, when the MBTA raised the price of parking from $2 to $4, the city parking board very quickly voted to follow suit, on the grounds that having different rates in the "same" lot would cause confusion. For some reason, the changes were never implemented. (The Downtown Parking Plan may rectify that.)

Do these look like one lot to you?



View Larger Map

Of course there are two distinct lots here. Even from this view you can see that they also are in different conditions. The MBTA lot is in much better shape, all of the spots have clearly painted lines, and the MBTA lot doesn't flood. It's also closer to the train platform. Also making the "confusion" argument look silly is the fact that you pay for parking in this "same" lot in two different places, depending on which of the "same" lot you park in. Call a cash grab a cash grab.

Using the city's logic at  the time, they should have lowered the fee for not paying from the $10 parking ticket that they issue to the $1 fee that the MBTA charges. Funny how that "confusion" logic doesn't carry over right?

I'm just waiting for them to announce that they're raising the ticket to $21, or better yet, following the 2,100% and raising it to $210. Won't that be fun? Wouldn't want to confuse anyone.

_________________

In other parking news, the city council (I'm assuming as the committee of the whole, but can't tell due to inadequate reporting) made some rather important amendments that kinda destroy the good parts of the comprehensive parking plan for the downtown. The reason that you have a committee made of many stakeholders study this and come up with these plans is so that you aren't stuck dealing with councilors caving to loud special interests.

So what has changed?

I wrote, in my previous post on the details of the parking plan: "First one's free. Annually, your first parking ticket will be forgiven. Somehow I bet they strike this one."


Consider it struck.


I also wrote: 

Enforcement hours until 8 PM. OK, so really this is a money grab, but it's a money grab that I like. Let's use the lots at Lafayette and New Derby as an example. It's 5:30 at night, and you're on your way to a friend's house. You want to pop into Pamplemousse to grab a bottle of wine, or you're feeling klassier and want to run into the Beehive for a whoopie cushion. These lots are your closest, best bet for a parking spot for ten minutes. There's only one problem. It's now 5:30. Nearly every spot in these two lots has been gobbled up by a Derby Lofter, and won't be made available again until they leave for work at 7:45 in the morning. Yes, even though they have passes to the garage down the street, they choose to park here because it's free after 5 and it's about 300 feet closer. What should happen here is that one of these lots, maybe the one that exits onto Lafayette only, should be short term, maybe half 30 minute and half hour spaces. Heck, charge a buck an hour for them. People who need to get in and out to patronize a business will pay it to have the space. Alas, we'll get to the actual plan in "the bad" Enforcement till 8 PM will help keep spots open for people patronizing businesses, and push residents to the permit garages, where they make the most sense.

Normally sane councilor Lovely has lost her mind on this one. Downtown residents parking in the metered spots/lots IS the downtown parking "problem." If you're not coming back for your car until the next day it belongs outside of the retail lots, off the streets, and in a garage. Councilor Lovely proposed changing the enforcement until 6 PM. So here is what will happen. Derby Lofter comes home at 5. Pays for the meter till 6, and parks there until 7:45 in the morning. Same problem as before. Downtown shoppers and diners get screwed. The stores have no incentive to stay open later. Joan, you asked "Who are we trying to turn over? Why are we going to 8 p.m.?" It's to avoid downtown residents clogging all of the meters. If they had to come back out at 7 to feed them, they'd just park in the garages in the first place. I thought you were smarter than this. I also must assume that you have never tried to park downtown on a Thursday through Saturday night, or on a Sunday, since they struck that enforcement for the entire day.

As for your ability to always find a parking spot, Councilor Lovely, didn't you park in the private, customer-only lot at Captain Dusty's to come to the HDSNA meeting on Monday? I think that's what I heard you say when you were leaving.

Downtown business owners should really let the city council hear it about these changes. Interestingly, they didn't amend any of the things I listed as bad, or ugly, in my previous post on the parking plan. They stuck to only ruining "the good." You know, unless it wasn't reported.

NEWSFLASH re: snow emergencies to the Derby Lofts crew: When all cars have to be off all streets the garage is going to be full. Why didn't you think of that before you bought your overpriced condo with no on-site parking? Derby Lofters continue to be whiny morons.

Derby Lofters Whining Again

In yet another display of why city council shouldn't be in charge of things like outdoor dining permits, the downtown parking plan has been tabled for now, due to the whining coming from around 20 residents of Derby Lofts. As we've discussed here, and here, and here, some Derby Lofters have an inflated sense of self-importance. They are at it again. Because 20-ish of them (in a city of more than 40,000) have complained that they don't like some of the rules, the council is kowtowing to 0.05% of the citizens. Good job guys! It's that kind of kowtowing that led to the forming of urban renewal districts, and Redevelopment Authorities, to take some decisions away from elected officials who are always willing to kowtow to the screaming minority.

The beginning of the Salem News piece is funny. It reads, "Strong and unified opposition voiced last night by residents of Derby Lofts condominiums delayed the City Council's expected action on major changes to the city's management of downtown parking." Strong and unified opposition? There are 54 units in the building. Many are occupied by more than one person. Let's go with the assumption that the building houses 75 people. Well then less than a third showed up. So, not even a majority of Lofters showed up, while the council is acting like a majority of citizens have an issue here.

I'm not saying the parking plan released was perfect. I critiqued it here. But it's important to note that Derby Lofters have a long history of complaining about their parking passes. See here and here. It's also important to consider that the purchase of these passes was very clearly explained during the sales process of Derby Lofts. I know, as I was house hunting at the time, and went through the pitch. Thank God I didn't buy there. Julianna Tache did a very thorough job of explaining that the parking pass purchase was mandatory due to the lack of onsite parking. Stealing from my previous parking critique, it's interesting that I have the two issues that this 0.05% of Salem residents is complaining about listed as the first two in "the good" of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

1. Enforcement hours until 8 PM. OK, so really this is a money grab, but it's a money grab that I like. Let's use the lots at Lafayette and New Derby as an example. It's 5:30 at night, and you're on your way to a friend's house. You want to pop into Pamplemousse to grab a bottle of wine, or you're feeling klassier and want to run into the Beehive for a whoopie cushion. These lots are your closest, best bet for a parking spot for ten minutes. There's only one problem. It's now 5:30. Nearly every spot in these two lots has been gobbled up by a Derby Lofter, and won't be made available again until they leave for work at 7:45 in the morning. Yes, even though they have passes to the garage down the street, they choose to park here because it's free after 5 and it's about 300 feet closer. What should happen here is that one of these lots, maybe the one that exits onto Lafayette only, should be short term, maybe half 30 minute and half hour spaces. Heck, charge a buck an hour for them. People who need to get in and out to patronize a business will pay it to have the space. Alas, we'll get to the actual plan in "the bad" Enforcement till 8 PM will help keep spots open for people patronizing businesses, and push residents to the permit garages, where they make the most sense.
2. Really inexpensive parking in the South Harbor Garage. Great news for people willing to walk from there to Pickering Wharf, and great for patrons of Murphy's and Beer Works.

If you want downtown to thrive, and be an evening destination, patrons have to be able to access downtown businesses, in the evening. When residents fill the public lots, that doesn't happen. I'm loathe to drive downtown at night, or on Sunday, unless I'm going for hours, because I know that the public lots have become Loft parking. Many a time I've passed up downtown shops for those on Highland Ave because I knew I'd have to walk blocks and blocks for my 2-minute purchase.

The council is giving in to the very people who make extended hours and Sunday enforcement necessary. They come home at 5PM, don't go to the garage they have permits for (note that the reason for the reduced rates is that it is underutilized, in contrast to their argument that there are no spaces), and park in the lots that are there for patrons of nearby businesses. I'd enforce the meters till at least 8PM, and maybe later on the weekends.

In a somewhat related note, I wrote previously that "Derby Lofts Lawsuit" was a popular search term that lands people on this site. While researching this post, I may have found what that search term is about. Apparently in addition to complaining about the rest of parking in "their" garage, they also complain about each other, in court. For a half million bucks, you can live with a drug addict whose mommy bought him a condo. Congrats! He may be worse for property values than Shirley.

On the other hand, apparently there was another lawsuit against Derby Lofts and several unit owners themselves, as well as their mortgage companies, filed by James J. Welch & Co for failure to pay over 6 milliion dollars in construction costs. That suit was filed in 2005 and a settlement was agreed to on 4/3/2006. The civil docket number was ESCV2005-02123. So maybe that's what people are looking for.

Crime Watch

Check out the police log over at Salem Patch. Welcome back, Aubry. We missed you!

A couple just wow moments.

Fights between customers at both Wal-Mart and Target? Gives new meaning to "The High Cost of Low Prices." Blood! Ridiculous, people! There are enough Cadbury Eggs for everyone!

We also must ask, is Shirley Walker at it again? Apparently "someone" called the police because the Lobster Shanty had a band outside, as they regularly do from April through October. Nothing new. Please, let's have the downtown music debate again. That is SO much fun. /end sarcasm. So, where was Shirley at 3:30 on a Sunday afternoon when this complaint was made?

Salem Parking ... Simplified?

The city has had a parking study going on for God knows how long. It seems they are actually looking to take some action now. I followed the earliest concept that came from this study. I think the final product is pretty different from what I remember. Some of what they propose makes some sense, and some of it doesn't make much of any at all. Some seems like a pure money grab. So let's look at the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The good:

1. Enforcement hours until 8 PM. OK, so really this is a money grab, but it's a money grab that I like. Let's use the lots at Lafayette and New Derby as an example. It's 5:30 at night, and you're on your way to a friend's house. You want to pop into Pamplemousse to grab a bottle of wine, or you're feeling klassier and want to run into the Beehive for a whoopie cushion. These lots are your closest, best bet for a parking spot for ten minutes. There's only one problem. It's now 5:30. Nearly every spot in these two lots has been gobbled up by a Derby Lofter, and won't be made available again until they leave for work at 7:45 in the morning. Yes, even though they have passes to the garage down the street, they choose to park here because it's free after 5 and it's about 300 feet closer. What should happen here is that one of these lots, maybe the one that exits onto Lafayette only, should be short term, maybe half 30 minute and half hour spaces. Heck, charge a buck an hour for them. People who need to get in and out to patronize a business will pay it to have the space. Alas, we'll get to the actual plan in "the bad" Enforcement till 8 PM will help keep spots open for people patronizing businesses, and push residents to the permit garages, where they make the most sense.
2. Really inexpensive parking in the South Harbor Garage. Great news for people willing to walk from there to Pickering Wharf, and great for patrons of Murphy's and Beer Works.
3. The garages are cheaper than most of the meters. The expensive garage goes from $1.50 an hour to $.75. The cheap one to $.25. One of the ways to clear parking for the comers and goers (those who spend money) is to get those who work in the businesses downtown to stop feeding the meters in the prime locations. I've been saying for years that you need to make it painful for those parking all day not to go to the garages if you truly want the downtown to thrive. This plan may do that.
4. Monthly passes for downtown employees. To park at meters all day costs about $4 a day currently. This plan makes a monthly pass available for $25 for employees of downtown businesses. The catch, you have to walk a little. These zones would be a little off the beaten path, but easily walkable. If you do, you could save over $50 a month in parking bills.
5. Meters that take credit cards. I struggled with whether to put this in "the good." I've had terrible experiences trying to use the ones in the Church Street lot. Also, I was just on New Chardon Street in Boston, where they recently replaced all the meters with new-fangled credit card machines. They also come with little LED lights that were very noticeable, even during the day, that lit red or green, based on whether there was time left on them. Wouldn't really fit the old-time aesthetic we are going for in much of downtown. Why is this in "the good?" Right, the one ticket I got in Salem was because I had no change. I always have a debit card.
6. First one's free. Annually, your first parking ticket will be forgiven. Somehow I bet they strike this one. 

The bad

1. This plan calls for increasing the meter time limits to 4 hours. This is completely backwards. You want the person spending the day to go to the garage. If they are going to change the time limit, it should be to create more 30 minute and 1 hour meters. Not more 4 hour meters. It's not clear if they are even going to keep any of the short term meters that currently exist.
2. Go read what I wrote about credit card meters above. It belongs here, too.
3. The plan is to increase the cost of parking in the Salem lot adjacent to the MBTA lot to $4, to match the price charged in the MBTA lot. This probably won't increase revenues as much as they think. The Salem lot fills faster than the MBTA lot because it is half the price. There are many days that the Salem lot is full and the MBTA lot is not. Raise the price, and you'll see that flip the other way. The MBTA lot is nicer, in better condition, and closer to the tracks than the Salem lot. The two are not comparable, and the rates shouldn't be either. Pure cash grab.
4. Some would put enforcement until 8PM here. I disagree, as I stated above.
5. Meter tickets would go from $15 to $30. I don't entirely have a problem with that. Put money in the damn meter, moron. It's money that frequently comes from sources other than Salem homeowners.
6. That said, we're talking about meter rates that rival, and sometimes exceed Boston, where you can park at most meters for $1 an hour. Same story for meter tickets. Ouch.

The ugly:

1. The supposed purpose of this new plan isn't to gouge people, but to simplify. That's a noble (stated) goal, but I'm not buying it. Go back to the article linked above. The article points out that the city has 13 different types of parking. In this new world there are six different price points for parking. Click on the photo attached to that article and count for yourself. Even more confusing, go to one city parking garage and pay a quarter an hour to park there. Go to the other, pay 75 cents for the same hour. Talk about confusing. So they've taken two types of parking, meter and garage, and turned it into six. I don't buy that we're simplifying. We still haven't talked about resident parking, monthly permit, annual permit, employee permit ... do we really have fewer types than in the old system? I don't think so.
2. If you're a resident of Crombie, Lynde, or Federal Street, or Summer, and Dodge Street, this plan sucks for you. The resident sticker parking on your street becomes available either to all, or to downtown workers from the hours of 8-5. Sucks if you don't work standard hours. Sorry.
3. Do the math on the expected cost to implement these changes. The cost is estimated at $850,000. The expected increase in revenues is a whopping $60,000. So in slightly more than 14 years we will have made up what we spent. MY GOD! We must just be terrible at math. I'll let you in on a little secret. That $850,000 doesn't include the cost to keep replacing these fancy new smart meters, which I'm sure will do just fine with New England coastal winters. Those credit card strip readers will just keep humming, and won't be constantly broken, and in need of repair in the frozen, salty air, right?

I get the idea here. Really, I do. Make the most underutilized parking more attractive by lowering the price, and the most attractive parking the most expensive, because people will pay for it. Here's the thing, though. Salem doesn't have a parking problem, really. It has a lardass, lazy, refuse to walk 3 blocks problem. This convoluted proposal won't fix that. The mayor and council relationship seems contentious at this point. Though the council was on board with this study concept previously, I'm not sure they pass this into law.

An unrelated note: I know there are a lot of Kim Driscoll haters out there, but seriously, people, it could be a lot worse.

More Klassiness at Derby Lofts!

Two Girls Shop, formerly of Marblehead and also Washington Street, is currently in the process of moving into the old chulamama space in the Derby Lofts. Some klassy individual thought it would be nice to vandalize their window with a vulgar reference. Points for originality, but if you don't get the reference, don't go looking.

More Walker Wackiness

But of course, Shirley Walker is at it again.

Check out this Salem Gazette article.

I'm in the downtown area very frequently. not once have I ever thought of it as a combat zone. It never really seems on the verge of mayhem, either. Have there been incidents? Of course, it's a downtown with numerous nightlife options. Things happen. But combat zone? Mayhem? I must be the crazy one because I don't see it. Yup, that's it.

Currently, several units are for sale in Shirley's own building. If I owned one of those units I'd ask the condo board to censure her. Any prospective buyer who reads her comments will turn and run. Way to be a good neighbor, Shirl.

Derby Lofts moron update!

It just keeps getting better!

Since my original post on this subject, the owner of Murphy's held "Derby Lofts Appreciation Night" where he offered half-priced appetizers to Loft residents. Everyone's favorite Lofter, Shirley Walker, was angered and threatened by this offer and extension of good will, and decided to call both the mayor's office, and the Salem Police Department, because surely neither of them had anything better to do. Isn't that what most people do if they aren't getting along with their neighbor? No?

Now, was the offer meant sarcastically? Maybe. I don't know anyone affiliated with Murphy's so I really can't say. What I can say is that we have a wonderful little thing called the first amendment which protects free speech and expression. Additionally, doing something like this with poor intentions would show a real lack of smarts so shortly after being sanctioned. More likely, he was trying to promote some peace.

With someone as prone to complaining as Shirley seems to be, even that brings on complaints. A Salem Police sgt. was quoted by the Salem News as saying that although he asked Murphy's to remove the sign, he didn't see anything offensive or threatening in the sign. The owner of Murphy's is quoted at length, as well, about the fact that he attempted a legitimate promotion with the goal of smoothing things over and starting a dialogue with his neighbors. Unfortunately, those neighbors thought it was a better idea to call the police, and their buddy the mayor, rather than inquire about the promotion.

I defy anyone to read that article and explain to me how the real problem here is anyone other than Shirley Walker and her gang of bullies. I'm also struck by the fact that, just like in Quincy, it's always her name attached to these problems. I'm starting to believe that she's leading what is a very small minority of VERY vocal Derby Lofts residents.

Finally, the youtube videos posted by the Shirley Walker Downtown Neighborhood Association and filmed from Derby Lofts are also apparently an illegal breach of the state's wiretapping law. The camera was supposedly mounted on the roof of the building, but if you watch the video, it definitely appears that someone is holding the camera and in fact moves it out farther to get a better picture. I guess if you've violated the law you don't want to admit that you were doing it actively.

Congrats to Shirley Walker and her loft crew for being the first people saluted twice here for keeping it klassy!

Derby Lofts whiny morons

The next winner of the Keep it Klassy, Salem award is clear. The award has to go to Shirley Walker and her fellow Derby Lofts minions. These mental midgets have succeeded in hampering a new "DOWNTOWN" business because these "DOWNTOWN" residents failed to notice that they were purchasing overpriced lofts in the center of a "DOWNTOWN" even though they were heavily marketed as such.

Viewing the Derby Lofts website, you'll see the follow quotes, ostensibly from Derby Lofts residents.

"We liked the feeling of being downtown in the middle of everything."

"I can remember when Salem was a sleepy little town. There's a lot happening right now, so I'm glad to be a part of it."

So which is it? Do you want to be in the middle of everything, or did you not notice that your concrete behemoth is at one of Salem's busiest intersections, with a bar on one side, and a FIRE STATION on the other? Gee, do you think it might be loud there? Naw, and if it is, we'll just make the DOWNTOWN not a downtown. Everyone will go along, right? These freaks are so out of whack that they've even videotaped many citizens without their consent, whose only crime was going to a bar and having fun, and then daring to leave the bar.


The only silver lining to the Derby Lofts idiocy is that they are all losing their shirts. A review of recent sales even shows one resident who sold two years after they purchased at a loss of over $144,000. No wonder these are such angry individuals.

Back to Ms. Walker for a second. She is apparently a serial nightlife terrorist. You see, Shirley Walker used to live in Quincy. More specifically, she lived at Marina Bay, a designed mixed use area that features nightlife and retail, and touts itself as "Boston's premier waterfront entertainment destination." Care to guess which Marina Bay resident made an utter nuisance of herself complaining about the fact that the place was successful in realizing its mission? Of course it was Shirley Walker. She formed a "community organization" there to lead her complaints, much as she did here with the supposed "Downtown Neighborhood Association," which seems to only truly be open to Derby Lofts residents. Unfortunately even they seem fed up with her, as rumor has it that she has recently resigned as their leader.

So what could possess this woman, after her previous experience, to move here, into the middle of downtown? My guess is either she's starved for attention, or she's completely insane. You'd think that she'd move to a quiet, suburban neighborhood. But who would listen to her there? What's even better is that Shirley made her $428,700 mistake on 12/29/2005. I consider myself a newcomer to town, who hasn't really earned the right to complain about the way things have been since before I chose to move here, and I've lived here longer than that.

I've never been to Murphy's, the target of Shirley's vitriol, but I'll be sure to become a customer now. I suggest that we all honk every time we pass Derby Lofts, just so that Shirley has something new to complain about. Who knows what she'd do otherwise. Maybe try to silence the fire trucks.

Here is a picture, from the Derby Lofts website, of one of the units.



Notice a few things about this "loft." First, it faces BUSY, DOWNTOWN Derby Street. Second, as klassy as they claim to be, the lofts are in sight of the Point, arguably Salem's most uber-klassy neighborhood. Yup, that's the Point out the window. Finally, lets look at this unit. Wood floors, huge windows, and a concrete ceiling. Yup, lots to deaden noise, right? No wonder they're so quiet.

What ever happened to buyer beware?