Saturday, November 14, 2009

Tyler Lagatta keeps it klassy

Serial juvenile delinquent Tyler Lagatta of English Street is the king of nighttime klassy in Salem. This 19 year old piece of garbage has made a habit out of breaking into cars, and worse for him, getting caught in the act. Read about him here, and here. His parents must be so proud.

If this is the same guy, he's clearly not a mental midget at all. Nothing is more fun than wading in filthy flood water.

Unfortunately, our local judges are nearly as klassy, and surely this one punk crime spree will continue.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Klass komes from Marblehead!

Our most recent klassy award winner is Taylor Jackson, of Marblehead, or Delmar, NY, or she doesn't really seem to know where she's from. This 22-year-old prize of a young "lady" decided to enjoy the Salem nightlife Thursday night by getting smashed at O'Neill's, followed by a joyride up Lafayette right into a tree by Loring Ave. This genius then decided to drive her car, spewing fluids, about a mile closer to Marblehead until it died. Then, she hid in the bushes, and called her daddy to come save her.

Unfortunately for Taylor, the Salem police found her first. When they did, Taylor insulted the Salem police, lied, told her father to shut up when he showed up to save her, and displayed an air of superiority that she VERY clearly hasn't earned and doesn't deserve.

Read all about it from the Salem News here.

Salem State should expel this piece of human excrement as an example to their students of their responsibility to be good citizens in the community, as well as good students. Taylor, and her parents, should be ashamed. Unfortunately, it's clear from her actions that she's incapable of feeling shame.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Adolf Obama?

I was driving by Salem State Saturday, on my way to the farmer's market in Marblehead, when I noticed eight to ten people standing on the sidewalk in front of Salem State's theater. Apparently our esteemed representative Tierney was holding a public forum that morning. Rather than attending, and voicing their opinions to the rep, who could use them, they decided to stand outside protesting something, but I don't know what, because the only things visible were pictures of our president, with a Hitler moustache drawn on all of them. Very klassy. Beyond being klassy, it was just plain ineffective. I have no idea what their point was, and even if I did I would discount it based on the utter lack of respect they showed to the office of the president of this country.

Listen, the first amendment protects the rights of people to say and do stupid stuff, and they don't disappoint. That said, the office of the president deserves a certain amount of respect, whoever holds it. This is equally true if they are an Obama, or a Bush, a Clinton or a Reagan.

So way to keep it klassy, protesters.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Pereira update!

Remember young Timmay Pereira? He's back in the news as he has now plead guilty to several charges for the accident.

Read about it here.

My favorite part of the article is where his lawyer calls him a stand up individual who has led an exemplary life. Pay no attention to the charges that he bashed someone with a bat.

I'll give some kudos to the mother of Timmy's cousin. She asked the judge to sentence Tim to at least a year in jail. However, I'll remind her that her son obviously chose to get in the car with this hooligan.

Pereiras, still keeping it klassy.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

More Walker Wackiness

But of course, Shirley Walker is at it again.

Check out this Salem Gazette article.

I'm in the downtown area very frequently. not once have I ever thought of it as a combat zone. It never really seems on the verge of mayhem, either. Have there been incidents? Of course, it's a downtown with numerous nightlife options. Things happen. But combat zone? Mayhem? I must be the crazy one because I don't see it. Yup, that's it.

Currently, several units are for sale in Shirley's own building. If I owned one of those units I'd ask the condo board to censure her. Any prospective buyer who reads her comments will turn and run. Way to be a good neighbor, Shirl.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Derby Lofts moron update!

It just keeps getting better!

Since my original post on this subject, the owner of Murphy's held "Derby Lofts Appreciation Night" where he offered half-priced appetizers to Loft residents. Everyone's favorite Lofter, Shirley Walker, was angered and threatened by this offer and extension of good will, and decided to call both the mayor's office, and the Salem Police Department, because surely neither of them had anything better to do. Isn't that what most people do if they aren't getting along with their neighbor? No?

Now, was the offer meant sarcastically? Maybe. I don't know anyone affiliated with Murphy's so I really can't say. What I can say is that we have a wonderful little thing called the first amendment which protects free speech and expression. Additionally, doing something like this with poor intentions would show a real lack of smarts so shortly after being sanctioned. More likely, he was trying to promote some peace.

With someone as prone to complaining as Shirley seems to be, even that brings on complaints. A Salem Police sgt. was quoted by the Salem News as saying that although he asked Murphy's to remove the sign, he didn't see anything offensive or threatening in the sign. The owner of Murphy's is quoted at length, as well, about the fact that he attempted a legitimate promotion with the goal of smoothing things over and starting a dialogue with his neighbors. Unfortunately, those neighbors thought it was a better idea to call the police, and their buddy the mayor, rather than inquire about the promotion.

I defy anyone to read that article and explain to me how the real problem here is anyone other than Shirley Walker and her gang of bullies. I'm also struck by the fact that, just like in Quincy, it's always her name attached to these problems. I'm starting to believe that she's leading what is a very small minority of VERY vocal Derby Lofts residents.

Finally, the youtube videos posted by the Shirley Walker Downtown Neighborhood Association and filmed from Derby Lofts are also apparently an illegal breach of the state's wiretapping law. The camera was supposedly mounted on the roof of the building, but if you watch the video, it definitely appears that someone is holding the camera and in fact moves it out farther to get a better picture. I guess if you've violated the law you don't want to admit that you were doing it actively.

Congrats to Shirley Walker and her loft crew for being the first people saluted twice here for keeping it klassy!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Derby Lofts whiny morons

The next winner of the Keep it Klassy, Salem award is clear. The award has to go to Shirley Walker and her fellow Derby Lofts minions. These mental midgets have succeeded in hampering a new "DOWNTOWN" business because these "DOWNTOWN" residents failed to notice that they were purchasing overpriced lofts in the center of a "DOWNTOWN" even though they were heavily marketed as such.

Viewing the Derby Lofts website, you'll see the follow quotes, ostensibly from Derby Lofts residents.

"We liked the feeling of being downtown in the middle of everything."

"I can remember when Salem was a sleepy little town. There's a lot happening right now, so I'm glad to be a part of it."

So which is it? Do you want to be in the middle of everything, or did you not notice that your concrete behemoth is at one of Salem's busiest intersections, with a bar on one side, and a FIRE STATION on the other? Gee, do you think it might be loud there? Naw, and if it is, we'll just make the DOWNTOWN not a downtown. Everyone will go along, right? These freaks are so out of whack that they've even videotaped many citizens without their consent, whose only crime was going to a bar and having fun, and then daring to leave the bar.

The only silver lining to the Derby Lofts idiocy is that they are all losing their shirts. A review of recent sales even shows one resident who sold two years after they purchased at a loss of over $144,000. No wonder these are such angry individuals.

Back to Ms. Walker for a second. She is apparently a serial nightlife terrorist. You see, Shirley Walker used to live in Quincy. More specifically, she lived at Marina Bay, a designed mixed use area that features nightlife and retail, and touts itself as "Boston's premier waterfront entertainment destination." Care to guess which Marina Bay resident made an utter nuisance of herself complaining about the fact that the place was successful in realizing its mission? Of course it was Shirley Walker. She formed a "community organization" there to lead her complaints, much as she did here with the supposed "Downtown Neighborhood Association," which seems to only truly be open to Derby Lofts residents. Unfortunately even they seem fed up with her, as rumor has it that she has recently resigned as their leader.

So what could possess this woman, after her previous experience, to move here, into the middle of downtown? My guess is either she's starved for attention, or she's completely insane. You'd think that she'd move to a quiet, suburban neighborhood. But who would listen to her there? What's even better is that Shirley made her $428,700 mistake on 12/29/2005. I consider myself a newcomer to town, who hasn't really earned the right to complain about the way things have been since before I chose to move here, and I've lived here longer than that.

I've never been to Murphy's, the target of Shirley's vitriol, but I'll be sure to become a customer now. I suggest that we all honk every time we pass Derby Lofts, just so that Shirley has something new to complain about. Who knows what she'd do otherwise. Maybe try to silence the fire trucks.

Here is a picture, from the Derby Lofts website, of one of the units.

Notice a few things about this "loft." First, it faces BUSY, DOWNTOWN Derby Street. Second, as klassy as they claim to be, the lofts are in sight of the Point, arguably Salem's most uber-klassy neighborhood. Yup, that's the Point out the window. Finally, lets look at this unit. Wood floors, huge windows, and a concrete ceiling. Yup, lots to deaden noise, right? No wonder they're so quiet.

What ever happened to buyer beware?

Monday, August 31, 2009

What a klassy kar!!

Today's keep it klassy, Salem award winner thinks it's a good idea to drive around the city of Salem with the sticker below plastered on the trunk of his klassy kar. This pic was snapped at the Salem commuter rail parking lot.

Go near my daughter, meet my gun.

What possesses someone to drive around like this? Utter klassiness.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Rebels without brains

The inaugural Keep it Klassy, Salem! award goes to the Pereira family of Salem and Peabody.

For those unaware, back in March, klassy then-18-year-old Tim Pereira drag raced his klassy Mustang from the Salem Willows (more on the Willows in a future post) toward downtown Salem, drove over 80 miles an hour in a 30 mph zone, lost control, spun, and crossed the double yellow line to collide head on with a minivan driving towards the Willows. Tim and his cousin were injured, his cousin seriously. Both people in the van were also injured, through no fault of their own.

To read more about the accident:

After the fact, Tim was charged with several crimes, including racing, speeding, driving to endanger and failing to stay within marked lanes.

Keeping it klassy, Tim's Myspace page featured numerous pictures of his klassy car, as well as video of him behaving like an idiot on an ATV. His lawyer must have finally told him to shut it down, because the page has been cleaned up some.

After his arraignment (of course he plead not guilty), daddy bailed his ass out of jail. At the time of all this, young Timmay was already on probation for brutally assaulting another teen with a baseball bat. Daddy should have let him rot. Clearly the entire family is full of klass acts. It was later determined that the new charges constitute a violation of his probation from the prior assault incident.

Brandon Pereira, Tim's cousin and front seat passenger, was ejected from the vehicle as he wasn't wearing his seatbelt at the time of the crash. He was hospitalized and kept in an induced coma for quite a while, and may still be in a rehabilitation hospital. The latest is that his father has now filed a lawsuit against the driver of the other vehicle, claiming that SHE "carelessly and negligent (sic) failed to avoid the collision with the other vehicle head on." Forgetting the klassy grammar that this sentence sports, let's just review the facts.

From the Salem News: "Investigators from the Salem and state police concluded that Timothy Pereira was going 81 mph on Fort Avenue, a road with a 30 mph speed limit, when he lost control, veering across the center lines and into the path of a Honda Odyssey minivan."

Yet she's negligent? More klassiness, Pereiras. The driver of the van not only had one Pereira smash her body, but another attempt to smash her reputation in court. The lawsuit is so klassy that it made national headlines. It also finalized my decision for what the first post on this site needed to be.

Congrats to the klassy Periera clan!